"Amarse con los ojos abiertos", popularized through Jorge Bucay's book, isn't a literal PDF, but a powerful philosophy advocating for realistic and conscious love. It means loving someone not for who you wish they were, but for who they truly are, flaws and all. This involves being honest with yourself about their imperfections and deciding, with open eyes, if you can accept them. It's about avoiding idealization and recognizing that lasting love is built on acceptance and understanding, not fantasy.
Applying the Concept: A Practical Walkthrough
Think of it as a way to build stronger, healthier relationships. Here's how to apply it:
- Identify Idealizations: What qualities are you projecting onto your partner (or potential partner)? Are you seeing what is or what you want to see? For example, are you overlooking their consistent lateness because you "know they're just busy" when it's truly a lack of respect for your time?
- Acknowledge Imperfections: List the things that genuinely bother you about the person. These aren't minor quirks, but genuine flaws. Does their possessiveness trigger anxieties? Do their constant interruptions make you feel unheard? Be brutally honest.
- Evaluate Acceptability: Can you realistically live with these imperfections long-term? Can you accept them without resentment or attempts to change the person? This isn't about tolerance; it's about genuine acceptance. If their possessiveness is a deal-breaker, "loving with open eyes" means acknowledging that this relationship isn't sustainable for you.
- Communicate Openly (and Honestly): Share your observations, not as accusations, but as your experience. "I feel unheard when you interrupt me." This promotes understanding and can lead to compromises, but only if acceptance is possible.
- Adjust Expectations: Recognize that everyone makes mistakes. Imperfection is part of being human. This step is about recalibrating your expectations, not lowering your standards.
"Amarse con los ojos abiertos" isn't about settling for less, but about choosing wisely. It’s about building a relationship based on authenticity and mutual understanding, rather than fleeting illusions. It’s about recognizing that true love isn't blind; it sees everything, and chooses to stay anyway.
